Homesick? Don’t go home!
Weekend September 25, 2017, Comments Offby Elizabeth Menne
For most people, college is the first time in their lives where they are completely on their own. At first, the idea is exhilarating. “No parents? No curfew? No rules? Sign me up!” some might say. However, this excitement for freedom soon morphs into the most dreaded foe of all college students, homesickness. What do you do when you start to miss your family? One thing is for sure, don’t go home!
To be clear, this doesn’t mean that you can’t travel back to your hometown every once in a while. By all means, visit your family. Catch up with old friends from high school. Eat a few of those home cooked meals that you have learned to appreciate so much more. Sleep in your own bed. Just do your best not to make it too much of a habit.
“But why not? What’s so wrong with wanting to spend time with the people who raised me?” you might ask. Absolutely nothing. The fact that you cherish time with your family is truly amazing. The problem, however, occurs when you let your desire to be at home interfere with truly immersing yourself in the true college experience.
Making connections
Jennifer Stewart, Director of New Student Programs, believes it is “vital” for students to stay on campus as much as possible over the weekends. Commuter students also should be encouraged to return to campus for various activities. Why? “One of the most important elements of having a successful college experience is making connections and finding people who become your Drury family,” Stewart says.
More than academics
While Stewart acknowledges that college is a place for incredible academic opportunities, she knows that it is much more than that. “The knowledge, growth and friendship [college students] obtain outside of the classroom will guide them through the rest of their lives. This happens by being an active part of the Drury community. When students leave campus on the weekend, they are missing out on great opportunities to make those connections and bonds with other students going through a lot of the same things they are.”
Be Present
Obviously, to make the connections that Stewart mentions, you have to actually be here. That doesn’t just mean that you only have to be here five out of the seven days. You have to be here 24/7, seven days a week. It means experiencing everything that college has to offer. It means being there the weekend your residence hall has an all-out paint war on Sunderland field. It means standing outside with every Smith resident, huddled together and delirious from lack of sleep, because someone decided that 3am was the perfect time to burn popcorn. It means impromptu visits to Black Sheep with members of your CORE group because the commons just isn’t open long enough on Sundays. The true college experience is comprised of little moments, shared experiences that not only connect you to your peers, but to your university in general.
Little Moments
As a senior who loves to spend as much time as possible at Drury, Makayla Jordan-Diemler has had her fair share of these little moments. When asked about her experience in the dorms, she says, “It was really fun because everyone was sleepy so you wake up and can go over to your friend’s room and say ‘hey wake up, let’s go get food.’” Sophomore Jennifer Kocevar likes to spend her time having movie nights with her roommates or having study dates with her sorority sisters. She also likes to take time to recharge through spending time outdoors. “I love being outdoors, so on the weekends some of my friends and I will find new places to go hiking and exploring. It’s a good way to get out and let your mind escape from all of the craziness of the week before.” Nate Schaper, sophomore, likes to attend the various sporting events going on around campus over the weekends. He even likes to travel to support his friends, saying, “there’s usually a cross country meet on Saturdays, so if it isn’t too far away, I like to go to those to support my friends on the team.”
A time to relax
While there’s plenty of activities to keep busy with over the weekends for those of us who are more extroverted, weekends at college are also great opportunities to spend some quality time by ourselves to recharge after a long week. In fact, Jordan-Diemler says that one of her favorite things to do over the weekend is simply relaxing. “I like to sleep in and then wake up and go to the commons for lunch because it’s really chill and I can watch TV in my apartment or do homework.” Jordan-Diemler also likes to take the weekend as an opportunity to prepare herself for the upcoming week. “On the weekends, I have time to cook for myself so sometimes I go shopping at Mama Jeans and Walmart and get all of my food for the week and make myself a lot of nice food over the weekend.” Kocevar echoes a similar sentiment, saying, “Dorm life is what you make of it. You can choose to hang out with all of your hall mates or you can choose to sit in your room. If you want to have fun on the weekends, you can. If you want to have quiet time, you can do that too.”
Get involved
What if you haven’t found your group yet on campus, and you’re scared that staying on campus over the weekend will be too lonely? “One of the best pieces of advice I could give students that are homesick is to get involved on campus. Keep in touch with friends and family at home by phone and social media, but really make an effort to meet new people and try new things,” Stewart says. Don’t know where to get involved? “Between SUB, the Res Life staff staff, Greek Life, Campus Rec/Intramurals, Athletics, Theatre and Music productions, and the 90+ other student organizations, there is usually always something going on that students can enjoy and actively participate in,” Stewart says. If you’re not comfortable enough to join a group yet, at least attend one of their events because every organization would love to have you there. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet your future bridesmaid or groomsman at that free SUB event. What’s most important is that you try. “College is a time to branch out and find yourself, so put yourself out there to experience fun new things!” says Stewart.
“Stick it out”
One of the biggest reasons why you shouldn’t go home when you’re homesick is that it can actually make your homesickness worse. Don’t believe it? Makayla Jordan-Diemler knows from experience. “I work at a summer camp and we don’t let the kids use their phones because if they had phones they would text their mom all of the time and that would make them sad, so the same concept applies to college. If you talk to your parents 24 hours a day, and then see them on the weekends, it’s going to make you more homesick. Definitely stick it out.” As a sophomore, Kocevar still has difficulty, saying, “when I go home, it’s much harder to leave my family yet again, and then I have to miss them all over again.” The best way to beat homesickness and get everything out of your college experience you possibly can is simply staying on campus!
You’re not alone
If you’re still struggling with missing home, there are several resources here at Drury to help you. One of the best parts about Drury is that no matter what, you’re never alone. Jennifer Stewart recommends talking to friends, roommates, or even O-Leaders when you are having a tough time. For freshmen, RAs and RDs are great resources. “They have been trained on how to help students deal with these feelings and offer guidance on ways to overcome this struggle,” says Stewart. The fact is that almost every single college student has experienced some sort of homesickness in their college career. If nothing else, talking to your peers will help you realize that you’re not alone and may even help you form closer bonds with those around you.
Additional Resources
If you would be more comfortable talking to a professional, Drury provides a free and confidential counseling service to help you navigate throughout all of the twists and turns that college life has to offer. You can even reach out to Jennifer Stewart or anyone else in the Student Affairs office. Ultimately, Stewart says, all members of the Drury community have the same goal, “to ensure all students have a successful and meaningful college experience.”
So, when you’re sad, get out there and get involved. Push out of your comfort zone. Meet someone new. Sleep in. Do some cooking. But no matter what, don’t go home!
Jennifer Stewart
Director of Orientation and New Student Programs
(417) 873-6919
Ed Derr
Director of Counseling, Disability Services & Testing
(417) 873-7457
Cover Photo by Cole Stillman
Author
